Living On
by mandymc
Summary: With her Father dead and Brother missing Elissa Cousland must step up and rule over the people of Highever. Now Eamon has got it into his head that Alistair needs to forget his lost love the Hero Of Ferelden and marry a good Noble woman like Elissa. Can they both forget their emotional scars and realize that maybe they were meant for each other?
1. Chapter 1

kay Quick summary since the bio was so short, Elissa did not get recruited into the Warden's instead her Brother and Father left her in charge of the Castle and Howe did not attack them. Now the Blight has ended. Fergus is missing and Bryce is dead. Elissa steps up to rule over Highever. However, Eamon is adamant to get Alistair married as soon as possible. So the fun begins with a stubborn Elissa and an Alistair who has just lost the woman he thought he would be with forever, the Hero of Ferelden, who sacrificed herself to save him.

There is quiet a while before Alistair shows up in the story and it will probably end up being quite a long story. I will update as much as I can but this story seems to have caught my imagination and I want to do it justice. Anyway hope you all enjoy. I have to admit I miss Kali. Elissa is so mean sometimes :D.

* * *

The dress felt tight, too tight. Her hair was pulled too tight and was giving her a headache. The mid afternoon sun was shining bright in the blue sky. The brisk Fall wind caught a few stray hairs and brushed them over her red nose. Elissa stared down at the wooden coffin in front of her and let her mind completely shut down. She had no idea who was here. She knew most of the town had arrived but she never met their sad eyes.

She knew her Mother was somewhere in front of her but tunnel vision had set in. Even the thumping of her own heart and the rush of her blood through her ears was the only noise she heard.

Inside that light brown box her Father lay dead. The Dark Spawn had killed him when he and her Brother had travelled to Ostagar Months ago to kill Dark Spawn with the old King. Elissa let the tear roll down her pale cheek as she remembered the day her Father's body had been returned to them. A horse drawn carriage had pulled into the main gates of the Castle. Of course a messenger had been sent ahead of the carriage. Elissa could still picture her Mother collapsing to her knees in the dry dirt in front of the carriage. Her screams of agony as her heart broke.

Her Brother had not been found amongst the dead. Until a body was returned to them no one of Cousland family believed him dead.

A bard began singing a sad song in a language Elissa did not understand. It forced her vision to grow. Looking up she saw her Mother sitting in a chair that had been placed beside the coffin just for her. Her body shook violently as one agonizing sob followed another. One of her hands was resting on the coffin as if seeking comfort from the man who had been with her her entire life.

Being the only child still here Elissa stepped forward and rested her hand on her Mothers shoulder. The townspeople all lowered their head in respect. Her Mother reached up and placed her shaking fingers onto Elissa hand "I love you my Dear."

Elissa could not speak. Her throat was swollen shut with despair. Looking away from her Mother her eyes fell on Ser Gilmore. Even the hardened warrior was shedding tears. Squeezing her Mothers shoulder tightly she nodded at Gilmore.

He led a small group of six Highever soldiers forward. All six of them wearing their armor with pride. A black cloth was wrapped around each soldier's right forearm. With three on each side and Gilmore at the rear they lifted the coffin in one smooth motion. Gilmore ordered them forward with a strong voice that Elissa had no hope of mustering at this point.

With solid steps all of the soldiers marched forward to the pyre and placed the wooden coffin onto the dry logs and step away. Ser Gilmore turned on his heel marched back towards the lit beacon, grabbed hold of one large stick, marched over to Elissa and her Mother. Saluted to the two of them and walked over to the pyre, setting the dry wood alight.

Elissa closed her eyes and let streams of tears roll down her face. She was in charge now. Her Father was gone and she would now be in charge of Highever.

* * *

Her sword sat against the arm of the red chair. The hilt of his resting not far from her elbow. Her blue eyes scanned across the room in front of her. The Banns and Nobles of the area were all gathered around, celebrating the defeat of the Dark Spawn. The Blight was over. They were all happy. No longer did they need to live in fear of those monsters pouring out of the ground anymore. "Elissa?" someone whispered beside her

Tucking a piece of dark hair behind her ear she looked to the right and noticed for the first time Ser Gilmore standing over her "Yes?"

"You don't look very happy my Lady."

With a quiet sigh she looked back over the crowded room "I do not understand the celebration. My Father is dead and my Brother missing. Yet they celebrate like it is a good thing." Resting her back against the chair she took a deep breath in. "Mother is inconsolable and I have to take charge of this place. Its like none of them care."

Ser Gilmore's armour clicked as he moved uncomfortably "I believe this is more out of relief than anything My Lady."

She just sighed and stood up "What relief?" Her voice rose a little. She turned so she was facing away from the group of nobles "Relief that all their families are safe, thanks to mine sacrificing itself."

Ser Gilmore watched carefully as the new Teryna of Highever left the room. Her long dark hair bounced with every step she took. She was no longer the woman she was the day her Father and Brother left for battle. Gone was the innocence she once held. He looked down at her sword which she had left behind. The pain of having her whole family ripped from her was a burden she was having trouble dealing with. Roderick lifted his eyes back to the crowd and sighed. Sadly there was little he could do for her right now.

Elissa couldn't stand being in that room with them anymore. Sure she was happy the blight was over but she did not like the sacrifice that had to be made for it. Walking along the cobbled path with her head low she did not noticed the path she had taken. Before long she was standing in front of her Mothers door.

The sobbing from earlier in the evening had died down. There were no longer any cries or screaming erupting from behind the door. So carefully Elissa pushed the door open, almost afraid of what she would find. To her relief her Mother had fallen asleep on the bed. Oriana sat beside the bed, tears still streaming down her face. Her hand was carefully brushing the hair behind Mothers ear. Over the last few months Oriana had aged considerably. She was no longer as youthful as she was a few months ago. Lines now creased her face and her eyes had lost a lot of their shine.

Then a week ago, when Father's body was returned to them, her Mother cracked. Shattered. Fell to the hard floor on her knees and cried so hard she stopped breathing for a few moments. Elissa would never forget the sight of her Father, lying flat on his back, sword in hand, armor shining.

Oriana looked up at Elissa and the corners of her mouth turned upward "Hello Elissa."

Elissa just nodded, too afraid to talk and wake her Mother. But did step forward and take a seat on the other side of her mother's bed. Mindfully aware that this was where her Father would be. A single tear escaped out the corner of Elissa's eye and rolled down her cheek as she lowered her body onto the bed. Why did her family have to suffer? Why did her Father and Brother have to die? The three of them sat still for a long while. None of them said anything.


	2. Chapter 2

Another chapter. Again its setting a scene. The next few chapters its starts to get interesting. Real Life has got in the way of writing at the moment so I hope it doesn't reflect to much :D

* * *

Later that afternoon Elissa stood in the court yard of Highever Castle totally unaware of what was going on around her. The wind was blowing through the tops of the trees and a few birds were chirping away. Outside the world was now peaceful, but inside, her world was still crumbling. She had to keep her tough facade intact for her family. For the nobles that now looked up to her.

The wind picked up and brushed through her dark hair. Closing her eyes she took a deep breath in, held it, and released it slowly.

"Auntie?" Elissa turned and saw Oren sprinting across the dirt towards her "Auntie!"

"What is it Oren?" Her Nephew stopped in front of her and smiled. "Are you waiting for Father to come back?" Oren had adjusted well to his Father missing and his Grandfather dieing. He had probably handled it better than she had.

"Course I am Oren," Placing her hand on his head she sighed "Arent you suppose to be in your studies?"

The small boy shrugged "I wanted to train today. If Father comes back I want him to know that I helped you to protect the Castle."

Kneeling down infront of her Nephew she held tightly onto his hands "Listen Oren, your Father would want you to go back to your studies. I will teach you how to use a sword later on this week. Only if you go to your studies now."

With a pout the young boy nodded and trotted back in the direction of the Library. Elissa sighed again and for a few more seconds let her mind drift back into the dark places she had frequented lately.

"My Lady?"

It took a few moments for her eyes to focus on the red haired Gilmore as he walked across the courtyard towards her. She didn't smile. Didn't show any kind of emotion towards him. Gilmore was the one person who could see through her guarded walls. He saw the cracks in her eyes. The aching of her heart. "What is it?" Even her voice had lost the spark it once held.

Ser Gilmore gave her a tight smile "Your Mother wants to see you about something."

Elissa nodded, her eyes dark, "Thank you." She walked past him straight to the castle.

Gilmore watched her carefully as she walked away. She was breaking from the inside. Her world had come crashing down on her. And with the rest of the world happy around her, he was sure she was confused. Angry even. All of Ferelden was celebrating the death of the Arch Demon, the coronation of the new King couldn't have been far away. The only sad part outside of this estate was the fact the Hero Of Ferelden had given her life to save us all.

Gilmore had watched Elissa grow up. Hell he had grown up with her. That spark she had when they would spar was gone. The fire in her eyes was dead. Dampened by her sadness. Ser Gilmore sighed and followed after her up the stairs.

* * *

Life slowly turned back to normal around Highever. The nobles soon began moving on with their lives. Drama began again. Nobles began disagreeing over small things. The lands recovered and with Elissa as the Teryna they were quickly back on their old prosperity.

Oriana and Oren had began to move on with their lives. Oren had throwen himself into his studies just as he promised he would and Elissa had started to show him how to use a sword. Oriana was not all that impressed.

Elenor was recovering. She no longer cried as much as she use to but she was still a sad woman. Elissa had caught her Mother in the Library from time to time alone and staring out the window. It was a familiar sight to Elissa. She was sure her Mother had seen Elissa in the same state.

Elissa never smiled anymore. Ser Gilmore was very aware of that. He watched her everyday as nobles came into the castle. They complained she helped as best she could but she never smiled.

A messenger arrived at the castle a few weeks after Blight finished. Ser Gilmore met him at the gates. The day was bright and the birds were singing. The roads had been quiet so to see a horse speeding down the gravel road put Gilmore on alert. Jumping off the horse the Elevn messenger jumped forward "I have a invitation for the Teryna of Highever, Ser."

Gilmore nodded "Follow me."

The guards followed Gilmore and the messenger as they walked through the castle towards the main hall. Gilmore knew Elisa was in the hall. A pair of Nobles had arrived a few moments before the messenger to speak to her. Gilmore had to admit he did not envy them. They had chosen the worst day to speak to Elissa. She had woken up angry and it had not stopped all day. So when he pushed the doors open and heard her chewing the Nobles out he was not surprised.

"Sorry my Lady!" The man stuttered while him and his wife retreated out the door Gilmore had just opened.

Elissa turned her back to the door. Her temper was raging today. She had had another nightmare last night and it was not leaving her mind. Memories of her Father and Brother leaving the Castle. Her mind creating images of them dieing horrible deaths at the hands of the Arch Demon. Taking a few deep breaths, she tired to control her anger by closing her eyes and blocking out the rest of the world. "My Lady."

"What?!" She snapped turning to Ser Gilmore and an Elf. Her dark hair flew over her shoulder. She was getting very tired of being called 'My Lady'.

Gilmore did not flinch, he never flinched "A messenger has arrived from Deneriem."

"And?!" The Elf shied away but once again Gilmore didn't.

Ser Gilmore turned to the Elf "Speak man."

The Elf stuttered "Ah yes. The King cordially invites the new Teryna and her Mother to his Coronation in a weeks time."

"Great." Elissa snapped. Waited a few moments then sighed "Yes, alright we will be there."

The Elf nodded before retreating out of the building.


	3. Chapter 3

Hello again :). Another short chapter but Alistair is in the next one I promise :D.

* * *

Elissa narrowed her eyes at the Elf as he left. She didn't know why she was angry at him, he hadn't done anything. He was just doing his job. With a loud heavy sigh Elissa collapsed into her chair. Closing her eyes she focused on relaxing each one of her muscles individually. Starting at her toes and working her way up.

Peeking one of her dark eyes open she caught Ser Gilmores's eye. The Knight stood at attention as though he was waiting for something "What is it Gilmore?"

"Forgive me for being so informal My Lady," he relaxed and a concerned frown crossed his brow "but I worry for you."

Elissa snapped her eye shut again. She hated that look he was giving her. That look of sadness and concern. It was how everyone in her family looked at her now. The Nobles didn't care they always looked at her as though she was going to snap their necks. Honestly she would have loved to.

"Don't worry Gilmore. I will be fine."

Gilmore nodded his head before turning and heading out the main doors.

Now she was alone, she let her body sag. The wall she had created fell. Her eyes watered and her throat became tight. Tunnel vision set in again and all she saw was her sword resting against the arm of the chair. Her Father was gone, her Brother missing. Tears rolled down her cheeks. She wanted at least one of them back here. One of them to tell her she was doing a good job, that she wasn't doing it all wrong.

Her Father would have stood beside her and said nothing until the Nobles were gone. Not wanting to undermine his daughter in front of the Nobles. Fergus would be sniggering behind her. Making a smart comment every so often just to see her smile. A shuddered breath shook her lungs.

Leaning forward she lay her forehead against the palms of her hands. Why did this have to happen? Why did her family have to be the one to suffer? Highever was barely touched by the Dark Spawn. A few men had gone to Ostagar to fight with the King but most had returned to Highever after Loghain had pulled them all out of battle. Her Father however had been a the Kings side and died in Battle.

A shudder ran through her body as she thought of the horrors he would have seen before his death. Holding her breath for a few seconds she stood tall, wiped her eyes and turned back to the main doors. Now was not the time. She could mourn when she had the time. Right now she had to let her Mother and Oriana know they will be leaving for Deneriem tomorrow.

* * *

Ser Gilmore stood next to Elissa, her Mother and Oriana as they walked through the arch way of the Palace. The three woman were dressed in their best for the Coronation of King Alistair. They walked into the room and Ser Gilmore instantly felt protective of the three woman as everyone turned to look at them.

The room was full of nobles and respected people of the country. Ser Gilmore knew a few of them. Many had come to the celebrations that were once monthly events at Highever Castle. The Teryna would often invite people from across the country to the social events.

The hall was loud. Orianna and the old Teryna walked straight into the crowd and began talking. Elissa however just stood back. Finding a quiet corner with a glass of wine, she stood back and kept herself away from the nobles around the hall. As always Ser Gilmore was beside her. He was always with her these days. Like she needed protecting even more than she use to. The glass rose to her lips but before she took a sip she spoke "I am not as fragile as you seem to think Gilmore." she took a sip of her drink "Please go look after my Mother. Her happiness is fake."

For a second Ser Gilmore did not move.

Her eyes narrowed at him "That is an order Ser Gilmore."

Finally he nodded and walked across the room to her Mother. Elissa tried to disappear into the background as all the Nobles walked around the room chatting and pretending to be sociable. Elissa knew the truth. They were all just digger around trying to find out any little bit of gossip that they could. Anything that they could take home to impress the locals. Or something that they could store away for future use. Who had a new Mistress? Who had lost more money than the other? Who had a new Bastard child who was hidden away for years?

Grabbing a glass of the Elf that walked passed Elissa took a small sip. These people were all the same. They always had been. Even as a child she remembered being a source of gossip. They didn't understand why the daughter of a Nobel man was training in swords with her Brother. When she should have been learning how to be a proper lady.

Even from across the room she could hear Habren Bryland sniggering about her. The epitome of Nobel society. The girl had been spoilt since before she was born. Elissa sighed, shook her head and looked away.


	4. Chapter 4

Alistair could hear his heart pounding heavy against his chest. It had only been a few weeks since the Blight ended and they weren't wasting any time getting him on the throne. The heavy Royal Armour wasn't as comfortable as his old wore armor. Shifting his should uncomfortably, he tried to adjust inside the metal. It did work.

Teagan appeared in the room and smiled "How are you feeling Alistair?"

"Oh just fine." he mocked "Yeah real comfortable about taking the throne. No worries."

The Bann chuckled behind him "Don't worry Alistair. Solona believed you fit for the job."

At her name Alistair lowered his head away from Teagan. The wound was still fresh. He still bleed for her. His entire body ached for her. Image's of her piercing the Dragon's skull with that sword shot through his head. "Yeah." he replied solemnly

Teagan approached Alistair and placed his hand on the new King's shoulders "We all believe in you Alistair. And if you fail," he grinned "We will help to fix it."

Alistair lifted his head and nodded "Right. Okay. Let's go."

The guard at the door and Alistair took in a massive deep breath as he walked forward, through the door into his future.

The crowd erupted into cheers as Alistair walked out. His heart hammered in his chest. Lifting his arm he waved towards the crowd. An awkward smile on his lips. Facing the crowd, the adrenaline was coursing through his vein so hard he couldn't make out any faces. They were all just a mess of smiles and cheers.

Stopping in front of the throne, he knelt before the Chantry Priestess that walked towards him. The woman's prey was drowned out by the noise of the blood pumping through his ears. Before he knew it, the crown was placed on his head and he turned to face the crowd. His people now. His people.

Again they erupted into cheers while Alistair waved to them. Sitting down in the throne Eamon and Teagan appeared beside him as the crowd began chatting in an excited manner.

Only after the last Nobel had looked away from him did Alistair think it safe to relax. Taking a deep breath Alistair turned to Eamon, "So what now?"

"A few of the Higher Class Nobel Families will be stepping forward to give you their blessing."

"Great," Alistair muttered. Families that had been in the Noble circles for generations were now going to be talking to him as though belonged here. Most probably didn't even think he meant to be King. Just a Bastard child who should have stayed hidden. He could only imagine the things that were already being said about him. Maybe his Armour was the wrong colour for the season or something.

So it began. One by one the Noble families of Fereleden stepped forward to wish the new King the best. First was an Arl from West Hills, Arl Gallaghar Wulff. The poor man lowered his head and bowed deeply to the new King. "An Honor Your Majesty. You have our total support whenever you should need it." He had lost a lot during the Blight and the ordeal had aged his face greatly.

Next came Bann Sighard. He lowered his head and again pledged himself to the King. And so on and so on. Alistair's cheeks were starting to hurt from the fake smile that he had to have on his lips. Eamon had been standing beside him the whole time. He did begin to wonder if the old man was starting to get sore legs.

Finally the last family stepped forward. These people even received an introduction from Eamon "Your Majesty may I present to you the three women of the Cousland Family. Their family has suffered through the Blight but have already made great strides towards bringing Highever back to its original prosperity."

Three women stood before Alistair. Of course he had heard of the Couslands, they were next to Royalty in Ferelden. The older woman stepped forward first. Her gray hair pulled back into tight bun "King Alistair it is a pleasure to meet you. I wish my husband could have been here to see you in your rightful place on the Throne."

"Thank you." Alistair smiled "I'm glad at least Highever will no longer suffer with the Blight and we can begin to rebuild this country together."

The older woman turned to the younger ladies "This Your Majesty is my Daughter Elissa and my Daughter in Law Orianna."

The dark haired woman stepped forward and bowed her head slightly to the King "My pleasure." she muttered.

Those dark eyes caught him instantly. She looked as though she was holding back so many emotions and they were all coming through her eyes like a beacon to him. Her Mother spoke again. Forcing his attention away from her "Elissa has been taking care of Highever while we search for my Son Fergus. He has been missing since Ostagar."

Alistair nodded "Yes. I do remember Soldiers coming in from Highever."

The third woman squeaked slightly. A tear rolled down her cheek. Alistair nodded "I understand your pain."

Orianna looked up and him and forces a shaking smile. Elissa showed no emotion towards him. Nothing. Her hand simply reached out and grabbed hold of her Sister in Laws, all the while never looking at her tears.

He recognized that pained look. A look of complete lose. He had seen that same look on his own face not all that long ago. This woman was in pain. Nodding at the three ladies in front of him "Thank you all for your families sacrifice," Elissa's eyes narrowed dangerously at him "Without your help we never could have done what we did during the Blight."

Elissa stood very straight, her spine as straight as a board, turned and walked away from him without another word. Her Mother apologies "Forgive her Your Majesty. My Daughter has been under a lot of pressure lately and is not entirely herself."

"It's fine. We all lost a lot to this Blight. Now we move forward together making Ferelden a better place."

The Couslands bowed and walked back towards the crowds. Disappearing into the mash up of people in the hall. Alistair leant back in his chair and sighed heavily "That woman,"

Eamon stepped in front of him slightly "Yes. Elissa Cousland. I remember her as a child. She was a happy kid believe it or not. Always training with a sword instead of in studies." Eamon looked down at Alistair and became concerned by the distant look in his eyes. Solona was still in his mind. "Everyone is hurting after this Blight Alistair. Never forget that."

The King nodded.


	5. Chapter 5

Elissa stormed into their Tavern room and slammed the door behind her. Every muscle across her shoulder was tense and her fingernails were digging into the palms of her hands as her fists tightened._ Thank you for your families sacrifice._ he said. Like they should have been honored by the fact her Father was killed because he was betrayed. Or happy that the fact her Brother hadn't been seen for months. How she wished she was back in Highever at least there she would have something to throw her sword at.

Growling through her teeth she stripped off her tight dress and pulled on some loose slacks and a cotton shirt. Royal Bastard. Did he feel honored that the woman he loved died? No of course he didn't. Someone knocked on the door "What?!" She snapped. Her Mother and Sister-in-Law had stayed behind. They wouldn't have realized she had left yet. And Oren was with the other Noble child on a tour of the Palace.

Ser Gilmore pushed open the door and stepped inside "My Lady?"

"What do you want Gilmore?" she sneered looking at the ground

"Can I help?"

Her dark eyes flicked up to him, glared for a moment before looking away "No."

He stepped forward slowly, for the first time nervous of her "Can I speak opening My Lady?"

She growled again, standing up and glaring at him "Rory stop treating me like I'm some high and mighty person! I am no different to when we were kids. Speak to me like you would anyone else!"

"Okay. You have to start letting go of this anger Elissa." Her body went rigid again "listen to me, you are going to kill yourself if you don't start moving on and letting this hatred that is festering in you die."

"Move on?" she whispered "MOVE ON! My Father is Dead Rory! He is not coming home! My Brother is missing," for the first time Ser Gilmore seen tears in her eyes "I know Mother and Oriana want to believe he is fine and will return," her body began to sag. Her shoulders fell and her hands relaxed "But it's been months. He can't have survived." She sniffed, her breath catching in her throat "How can I be honored when I'm in so much pain."

Ser Gilmore jumped forward and caught Elissa as she collapsed. Her arms wrapped around Ser Gilmore and she cried into his shoulder. Her body shook with every sob that racked her body. Ser Gilmore placed his hand on the back of her head and held her as she cried.

* * *

With her back pressed against the head of the bed and her feet pulled up to her chest Elissa sniffed one final time "Thank you." she whispered.

Ser Gilmore sat forward in the chair across the room "I'm glad I could help Elissa. You have held onto it for too long."

She sighed again. Looked up at him and nodded "I will be better now. You are a dear friend Rory. Thank you."

He nodded with a small grin on his lips "Your Welcome My Lady."

Her eyes sparkled again with a little bit of the happiness he had missed. Her lips however still did not smile. Lowering her head back down onto her knees she hid her face from Ser Gilmore and closed her eyes.

* * *

An hour later Oriana and her Mother arrived back at the Tavern "Oh Elissa." Eleanor rushed to her daughter's side and held her tightly "When did you leave. I became so worried when we couldn't find you."

"Sorry." she whispered.

Oriana sat on the chair and smiled at them "Ser Gilmore informed us you had left quite some time ago. Are you feeling well?"

"Just a little tired." She whispered, lowering her head away from her Mother. Eleanor could always tell when her daughter was lying. "Anything happen after I left?" She asked. The two women looked at each other for a few moments and Elissa sighed "Okay. What was it? Just tell me?"

Eleanor looked back at her daughter and smiled slightly "Well, tomorrow Eamon would like your attendance at a meeting with all the other Lords to see about finding a wife for Alistiar."

"Oh Mum." Elissa complained "You know how I feel about those arranged marriages."

Eleanor placed her hand on her daughters shoulder "You don't have to say anything if you don't want to Elissa just show up."

"Yeah great can't wait."

* * *

Alistair rolled back in his chair and sighed heavily. The room was clearing out. People were leaving, probably all heading towards the Tavern to gossip. Raising his hand, he grabbed hold of the crown and pulled it off his head. As the weight lifted, he felt relief.

Staring at it in his hand he felt the stress of a nation in his hands. Moving the golden crown in the light he saw Solona's reflection flash at him. Did she see something in him that he couldn't see himself? The ability to run this country.

Eamon walked towards him from across the hall "How are you feeling Alistair?"

With a heavy sigh Alistair nodded "Yeah okay. I guess there no turning back now is there Eamon?"

The Arl grinned at him "You will be fine Alistair. Stop doubting yourself so much." Eamon clutched his hands behind his back and became very serious "As a manner of business Alistair. We can not allow this fiasco to happen again."

Alistair looked straight into Eamon's eyes and knew exactly what was going to be said next.

"You need to find a wife Alistair. And soon."

Narrowing his eyes slightly the new King looked away. He wasn't ready for someone else. He had never loved in his entire life, until he met Solona. He fell for her completely. He didn't want to know the love of another. He didn't even know if he was capable of caring for someone as much as he did Solona.

Without saying anything Alistair got to his feet and left the room.

Eamon sighed heavily. He knew it was going to be painful for Alistair. To move on after his first love died in his arms. He could only imagine the heartbreak the young man was going through.

Teagan entered the room and smiled "Everything seemed to go well this evening Brother."

Eamon nodded "Yes. I knew most of the Nobles would accept him quickly. Still, we must be careful. Some higher ups feel this isn't right. Having a Bastard on the Throne."

Running his fingers through his red hair Teagan grinned slightly "And here I thought getting him on the Throne would be the hard part."

"No, my little Brother. I fear keeping him there and alive will be our biggest challenge." Eamon could read a few of the Noble faces that had been in the room today. They were not impressed with Alistair and lied through their teeth in front of him. Elissa Cousland appeared in his mind. She wasn't impressed with him. That was obvious. But Eamon go the feeling it wasn't because of who Alistair was. But because of what he had said. "We need to find him a wife Teagan."

Teagan laughed "I can't even find myself a wife Eamon. Now you expect me to find one for the King?"

Eamon smirked "I already have someone in mind Teagan. Though I think she maybe a little hesitant to listen."

"Not the Cousland girl?" Teagan frowned. He wasn't sure Alistair would be able to handle a woman as fiery and strong willed and Elissa Cousland.

Eamon nodded "We shall see Brother."


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Okay I dunno if I like this chapter but it had to be done. Real Life and Writers Block and taking their toll. Anyway, I'm trying to chip away at the story line. Anyway hope you enjoy it. Also haven't had time to proof read please excuse any major errors for the time being. I will fix them :D**

* * *

Taking a deep breath Elissa entered the meeting hall of the Castle flanked by Ser Gilmore. The room was already full of Noble men and woman. All chatting away to Eamon and Teagan. No doubt talking up their own daughters for the position of Queen.

Arl Bryland was eagerly chatting away to Eamon. Elissa couldn't imagine Habren being a Queen of any sort. Elissa let out a little snort at the idea.

"Everything alright?" Gilmore asked

"Yes, just fine."

Ser Gilmore stood a couple of steps back from Elissa's chair as the Nobles took their places around the table. Each Noble took their seat and leant forward. Elissa sighed. This was going to be a very long, very boring meeting.

Eamon stood to begin "Well, as you know I've called you all here to discuss the matter of a Queen." Quiet chatter broke out between the Nobles and Elissa rolled her eyes "I know you all have ideas of who you wish to see on the Throne, but I want you all to think of someone who would actually benefit the country and not hinder it by catapulting themselves into a life they are just not ready for."

Arl Bryland stood quickly "Habren will not be Queen. The country would be bankrupt within a week.'

Everyone, except Elissa, laughed "Agreed," Eaemon smiled "I do have to admit I have an idea of my own but I do not know how it will go with the rest of you." He turned and looked straight at Elissa "We need someone who has the respect of the people and the will power to keep it as a ruler of the country."

Elissa glared at Eamon, her body going tense "What exactly are you trying to say Eamon?"

"Just that you and Alistair would make a great combination for the country."

"Don't be daft." Elissa snarled across the table at him "I have people back in Highever that need a Cousland to stay in charge. If I left to take the Throne I would be abandoning the people that have supported my family for generations."

Eamon sighed a little frustrated. "You have experience ruling over people and the ability to see past your own gains to see what would benefit the people."

"No," Elissa said off hand looking away from him "You have all tried at one time or another to send your eldest sons to Highever. Hoping to see the youngest daughter of the Couslands fall head over heels in love with them." Slowly her eyes moved across the table. Eyeing every man and woman right in the eyes "Thing have changed. I am needed in Highever and I will not leave there to see a Queen on the throne." Waving her hand over her head and turning her head away "Find someone else."

Teagan placed a hand on his Brothers shoulder "She is right Eamon. Could you imagine if you just up and left Redcliff."

At least Teagan had his head firmly placed on his shoulders Elissa thought bitterly. The Nobles continued putting up their suggestions. Obviously aware that they needed to leave the subject of Elissa as Queen alone. "There is always Bann Alfstanna." Some suggested.

"Your going to have the same problem as if it were me again. Waking Sea will be just as devastated to lose her as Highever would be to lose me."

Eamon growled in frustration "What are we suppose to do then? The Kingdom needs an Heir and to have an Heir Alistair needs to find a wife.'

Resting her head in her hands Elissa leant against the table "Let him find his own wife." she suggested. Every one fell silent. Her dark eyes scanned the room and found every pair of eyes staring at her as if she had just revealed a dirty secret about the Maker. "Well," she stuttered "Its not like he couldn't do it. Woman from across Thedes would love to become Queen."

"That's not really the point." Eamon said "We need a Queen of good standing to put the Kingdom back in good standing. After Loghain, the people need to know that the Royals and the Kingdom is in strong safe hands."

Shaking her head Elissa stood and started for the door "Well good luck Ladies and Gentlemen. I need to return to Highever."

Ser Gilmore followed after her. The stupid Nobles could squabble over this. There was no way she was going to marry the King. And there was no way in hell she was going to be Queen of the country.

Eamon watched the Teryna leave. She was a strong woman. He could picture her beside Alistair. To bad her Brother was missing and her Father killed in Ostagar. If Fergus was found maybe then they could convince Elissa to marry Alistair.

Eamon had remembered Elissa as a young child. She was not like this as a child. She was a kind hearted girl. Always trained with her Brother and a sword. Had an affinity with Horses. They loved her. Now she is a strong stubborn woman. Damn Dark Spawn had changed so much about this country.

Eamon sighed and shook his head again as the Nobles began throwing names out one after another. All as useless as the last. Countless search parties had been sent to the Wilds to find Fergus. Nothing came of it. Just Dark Spawn corpses.

They would need to think of another to marry Alistair. This country needed an Heir and Eamon was not going to let anything stand in his way.

* * *

Elissa walked into the Gnawed Noble Tavern and walked straight to the room her Sister and her Mother were staying in. Her Mother wasn't there of course she would be out entertaining the Noble wives around Deneriem. Oriana was in the corner of the room stroking her son's hair as he slept in one of the large beds.

Oriana smiled at Elissa as she walked in and took a seat on the end of her Mother's bed. "How are the Nobles of Ferelden doing today Elissa?"

"They are trying to find someone for the King to marry." She turned and looked her sister in the eye "He wasn't even there and they were trying to decide his fate for him."

Oriana's soft smile grew on her lips and her eyes moved to look at her son "Your Brother and I were arranged without our approval."

"Yes but that was different. You knew each other before it was all sorted out. Alistair is being forced by a bunch of people he doesn't even know."

Elissa remembers the first time her and her brother set eyes on Oriana. Fergus was around 13 years old. His eyes lit up when Oriana walked into the main hall of Highever Castle. Elissa was standing beside her brother figetting with the dress her Mother had forced her into.

When she looked up at her Brother she thought he was ill. Red blush ran across his cheeks. She asked him if he was okay which made the blush grow.

Oriana was wearing a beautiful green dress and her hair was pulled up tight in a bun and her face very fresh looking. It was arranged within the year the two of them would marry. Both of them happy in the idea.

Looking back up at her Sister in Law, now she was the Mother to his child. A strong beautiful woman who would have made an amazing ruler of Highever.

Oriana's smile grew when she looked up at Elissa"I guess you wont be joining the line of woman to marry him?"

Elissa snorted "No. I wont be."


	7. Chapter 7

**I'm sorry... again I'm not thrilled with this chapter. It's so frustrating. I know where I want it to go but I can't get it there. Argh, I'm trying not to make the chapters so jumpy and make them flow better but my brain jumps too much :D. Anyway hope you enjoy it. **

Early the following day Elissa had everyone packed and heading for the gates of Deneriem. She was planning on having everyone out of the city before Eamon had a chance to get his idea's about marriage into her Mothers head.

Pulling hard on the horse's reins she turned it slightly to look back at the others. "Would you please hurry up?"

Orianna and Eleanor were sitting back in the coach both relaxing. A small company of Highever Guards on each side of the horse drawn carriage. The sun had barely peeked from behind the Horizon when Elissa had pulled them all out of the hotel and rushed them out the door.

Ser Gilmore moved to quickly be at her side "I don't think you were quite quick enough My Lady."

Looking past the coach Elissa saw Eamon and Teagan riding towards her at a steady pace. "Crap." she swore "I thought we would have had more time."

The Arl and his Brother approached the Cousland's and smiled "Leaving so early My Ladies?"

Eleanor smiled at the Arl and nodded at Teagen in a polite greeting "Good morning Gentlemen. Yes it seems my daughter is eager to get back to Highever."

"I was hoping we would have a chance to talk Eleanor." He smiled sweetly at Elissa before turning back to her mother "We didn't get much of a chance to speak at the Coronation, and I would truly love to find out how Highever is recovering."

"Oh of course Eamon." Eleanor beamed.

"No." Elissa interrupted rudely, turning her horse to face the Arl stubbornly. "We have to return to Highever."

"Elissa!" Her Mother snapped "Have some manners!"

Elissa lowered her chin and felt her eyelid twitching. She knew exactly what Eamon was trying to do. Weasel his way into her Mothers head and lay his bad ideas. Shaking her head Elissa turned away from them but kept her ears open.

"I know," Eleanor chimed "Why don't you come with us back to Highever, Eamon. It has been so long since you visited."

Great. Elissa thought holding the reins tighter. Turning towards them again she growled "What ever you plan on doing can we do it quick? I don't want to be on the road any longer than I need to be."

The look she received from her Mother was the same one she would get as a child. The same look she received when she wanted to play with the swords instead of getting dressed up. "Excuse me Eamon." Eleanor stepped off the coach, with an assisting hand from Eamon, and walked towards her daughter. A steely look in her eyes and a stomp in her step. Approaching the horse she said quietly "Please step down here Elissa." And there was the voice she got whenever she was in trouble.

Swinging her leg over the side of the horse Elissa stood before her Mother "Yes?"

"We will be staying in Deneriem. You will be staying with us. Eamon has been wonderful to our family and I will not leave purely because of your impatience."

And there it was. Her plan failed. Eamon had won by going after the one woman in the Cousland family who wouldn't tell him to bugger off. Sighing in defeat Elissa turned to Ser Gilmore "Return the horses to the stables. Pay the Stableman for the trouble." Ushering over a servant she placed a pouch of coins in their pocket "Please let us another room at the Inn."

Eamon laughed "Perish the thought you will all be staying at the Estate with me."

"Great." Elissa snarled. Her eyes dead at Eamon._ I know what you're doing Old Man_. She thought as if he could actually read her mind.

* * *

She had to admit, the Arl's Estate was far better than the Inn. Elissa sighed and leant against the window sill looking out over Deneriem. The Cousland's had an Estate here once. It was destroyed by the Arch Demon. They would rebuild once things were settled in Highever.

The breeze outside brushed past the trees, picking up a few orange and yellow Autumn leaves. A few guards were chatting in the courtyard and the mabari were play fighting a few meters away. Over the wall she could still hear the chattering of people as they walked throughout the market place.

A soft rapping on the door forced her away from the blissful thoughts of freedom. "Yes?"

Teagan pushed the door open and smiled at her. "How are you My Lady?'

Elissa had to admit she like Teagan a lot more than she did his Brother. The man was more relatable and didn't seem to have a hidden agenda whenever he spoke to you. "Would be happier in Highever but Eamon put a stop to that." She sighed relaxing against he window frame.

Teagan grinned nervously running a hand through his hair "Yes my dear Brother has his eyes on you for Alistiar's wife."

"Obviously." Elissa turned away "I don't want to marry the King, Teagan. I have people depending on me in Highever. I can't let them down."

The red head Bann stood beside her "I understand. Eamon is only thinking of what is best for the country. You must understand that."

Elissa's eyes narrowed at him, folding her arms across her chest "Are you here to convince me to marry him as well Teagan?"

"No Elissa." he apologized "I actually wanted to apologize to you for Eamon's sneaky attempts at getting you on the Throne."

"Eamon is predictable." she turned away, glaring out the window "I knew what he was going to do. That's why I left so early." She narrowed her eyes glaring out the window "But it seems I may be just as predictable as him. He knew what I was going to do as well."

Teagan smiled "Yes, he had us up well before dawn."

"It doesn't matter now. I am here and he will be, no doubt, already talking the ear of my Mother."

"Actually," Teagan smiled down at her "He is mounting a search party for your Brother."

"What?" she snapped, turning and standing to face him "Why?"

Teagan shrugged "Your Mother asked it of him."

What were they up to? Anger grew inside her quickly. Fergus was dead. They all needed to face it. Her Brother was not coming home. Ever! Growling, she turned away from Teagan and stormed out the door.

Ser Gilmore was waiting in the hall "Where is my Mother Ser Gilmore?"

"Last I heard having tea with Isolde and Eamon on the balcony."

"Thank you." Her steps were hard and her face strong. She was furious. They needed to let go of the fact that Fergus may still be alive. He was dead. Servants scattered at the sight of the Cousland storming down the hall. Throwing the door to the balcony open, Elissa glared at the people in front of her.

Eamons, Isolde and Eleanor all smiled at her. As if blissfully unaware of how angry she was. The two ladies were dressed in the finest dresses. Both half way through their cups of tea. Eamon was standing. Leaning against the rails looking over Deneriem. "Have you really sent a search party after Fergus?"

Eamon nodded, his smile growing "Yes. I hope to find your Brother alive and well in the Wilds."

"Dam it Eamon!" She snarled, fists clenched at her sides "My Brother is gone!" As soon as she said it she knew she had said the wrong thing.

Her Mothers eyes welled up "Elissa," she whispered "You don't really think that do you."

"Mother I," She sighed, a little defeated and sagged her shoulders "I want to believe he is alive Mother, I do. But it has been so long. No one could be alive after this long."

Eleanor placed her cup of tea softly down on the saucer "We cannot give up just like that. Until your brother is returned to us, be it alive or dead, I will not allow you to speak in such a manner."

Shaking her head Elissa turned away "There is no point in holding onto false hope Mother" Elissa did not believe her Brother was alive. Turning on her heel she left Eleanor with Eamon. Sadly aware that Eamon may have just won over her Mother in the idea of her marrying Alistair.


	8. Chapter 8

Alistair had been reading this book for so long that his head was throbbing. The afternoon sun was shining in the small window beside his desk. Peeking out the glass, to the world below, Alistair felt a wave of nostalgia wash over him. The young guards of the castle were all standing at attention, while being schooled by the Guard Captain. Pinching the bridge of his nose he took in a deep breath and slowly released it. How he missed those days. Back when he was training just like them. Learning from the Templar the art of swordsmanship. Then later on picking up all new and exciting skills from the more experienced Grey Wardens. Now he was a King, he thought almost bitterly. A King didn't train like a warrior did. No one would dare spar with him, for fear of hurting the King always prevailed in their minds.

Reaching under the collar of his red shirt he pulled out two Warden Amulets. Rolling one between his fingers, he watched the dark blood move within the glass and let his mind wander.

Solona would have been good at this. She was always the leader, always the one to take a stand. Alistair was more than happy to sit back and watch as she, one by one, wound the nobles around her fingers. When they came back to Deneriem to find support for the Landsmeet, Solona easily spoke to every Nobleman as if they were any other person. Just walked right up to them, ignoring their obvious discomfort of having a Mage standing so close to them.

Alistair could never find the words to say to the Nobles. He could never get the idea of him being a Bastard child out of his head. All his life he had been told he was nothing other than the son of a commoner. Nothing special and that he should act that way. He would always hide behind his sarcastic humor and could never find the words to make the Nobles understand.

When Solona had put him on the throne he couldn't understand why. He didn't know what she had seen in him that made her so certain that he was King material. He asked her the night before the battle, why she had put him on the throne. He remembered it vividly. She cupped his face in her hands. A magical warmth coming from her fingertips, "You will be a good King Alistair, you may not always be able to voice your objections, but you always know what is right." Leaning forward and kissing his lips very softly "You will be a King of the people Alistair." It was the last kiss he ever got from her.

And even though Eamon had forced him to break her heart. She still understood. She promised to stay and help him. The look of total despair on her face would forever be etched in Alistiar's mind. Sadly they found out later that night that only one of them would survive. Solona took the hit. Leaving Alistair at the gates. He was unable to save her.

It was slowly sinking in. What Solona had said that night. That he was a common man's King. A King who knew right from wrong and who could stand next to a common man and smile about it. A knock behind him forced his mind away from the past. "Yes?"

Teagan walked in with a smile on his face. "How's it going Alistair?" The red head Bann walked over to the King and looked down at the book on the table "Interesting reading."

The King shrugged, slumped back in the chair and sighed "My head hurts even to think now."

Teagan picked up the book and flicked through a couple of pages before pulling a face and putting it back on the table. "Hey, at least Eamon has left you alone for the first time since The Arch Demon was killed."

Alistair smiled "Yeah that's true. What has he been doing? I haven't seen him since the Coronation."

The grin that played on the Bann's lips was mischievous "Well, he convinced the Cousland's to stay in the Estate with him and Isolde. I think he may be trying to convince Elissa that you are husband material."

His heart tightened again. Any talk of marriage or heirs always made him hurt. There was still only one woman who he wanted. The look on her face, when he told her that he couldn't be with her, still shattered his heart. If he had only known then that he would never see her again after that day, he wouldn't have done it. He would have taken her away and spent every last moment with her he could. Instead, he broke her heart and let her run off to kill the Arch Demon alone.

Teagan's hand slapped down on his shoulder, shaking Alistair from his daze "Sorry my friend." He squeezed slightly "I know it's still hard."

Alistair nodded and looked away. Nothing anyone said ever made it feel better. But Alistair appreciated their concern.

Elissa Cousland as his wife? Alistair almost cringed at the thought. That woman was intense. Those eyes that looked as though they could pierce your soul. Her family had been in power for generations, so she knew what she was doing. Probably better than Alistair.

Lowering his head Alistair sighed "It feels too soon to be looking elsewhere."

Teagan nodded "I understand. But remember, you are King and even Eamon can not tell the King what to do." Chuckling slightly Teagan grinned at him "You're not that small child anymore Alistair."

* * *

_***waves hand shyly* hi... Yes I know okay. I've been gone for ages! I moved house and my internet wasn't connected for what felt like years. It been a busy few months. I'm starting a new job, in a new city and in a new house. I hope I still remember how to write :D. Anyway, be gentle with this chapter. It's getting me back into the swing of things :)**_


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